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How to ask for a raise

The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.

She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.”
Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”
Helen: “No, the gardener did.”
Wife: “So, how much do you want?”

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